The Seven Years War- Hetalia version!
by Mika Nakane
Summary: The Seven Years War (La guerre de la Conquête) was a war fought between France and Great-Britain for North America during the years 1754-1763 while its European counterpart began in 1756. But that's boring. So, the Seven Years war was an argument between Francis and Arthur for Matthew, in which Arthur won and took Matthew from Francis! This is the Seven Years War, Hetalia style!


**A/N So, we're studying the Seven Years War in school, and since Hetalia makes everything fun, I turned it into a fanfiction. I'm pretty sure that most of the information is accurate, but if you spot any mistakes, please pm me with them. Also, I'm not sure if I should include the translations, since it's rather basic, but if you need it just review and I'll add it in. Note: Human names used when countries refer to the representative. **

The Seven Years War

"And THAT'S how I ended up under Britain's rule!" America finished enthusiastically, "Because then I fought for my independence, and dude, you should've seen him! He was-"

"That's quite enough, Alfred. You're done explaining your history, now it's... Canada? Well, it's Canada's turn. Who was he again...?" Britain trailed off, confused.

The world meeting was being hosted by Britain this time around, and the nation had decided that each country should recite its history, "In an attempt to understand each other better", Britain had said. While the other countries weren't exactly interested in learning the past of others, they were eager to share their own.

"Ah, you must be talking about _mon petit Matthieu_. You and I were a part of it, _non_?" France explained. Britain glared. "Oh, shut it, frog, I knew that. Anyway Matthew, would you like to tell us about yourself now?"

Canada shifted nervously to the front, avoiding the curious gazes that were, for once, directed towards him. "W-well, I would love to, but the truth is..." he trailed off, embarrassed.

"The truth is, what?"

"I mean, I w-was only a colony back then, and..." Kumajiro looked towards his stuttering owner, and filled in the blank. "He doesn't know his history." the bear said bluntly, before going back to eating.

The other countries looked at each other. "Well, that _does _make sense. After all, you were under our rule for the majority of the time; your independence was only given in 1867." Britain reasoned. "In that case, I guess it'll be me and old frog-face here doing the talking."

"_Alors, _we can start with the Seven Years war!" France decided happily. Britain whacked him on the head. "You idiot, you can't just ignore all the decades before that!" he glared.

"Actually, I think it'd be best to skip the boring parts. We don't want to be here all day, да?" Russia said, making Britain hastily agree.

"Alright then. So, the Seven Years war actually happened in Europe, but we're talking about the one that took place in North America. In Canada, it was called..." Britain trailed off, trying to remember what Canadians called it.

"The War of the Conquest?" Canada supplied helpfully. Britain nodded.

"Yeah, that. It started in 1754, and the treaty that ended it was signed in 1763. So this war is actually not 7 years, more like 9. But the Nine Years War was a name already taken." Britain stated. Canada nodded, fascinated.

"_Premièrement _is the taking of the Valley of Ohio. It was an important place to me, because many of my fur-trading forts were there. We traded fur with the natives, who liked us." France continued.

"However, it was interfering with _my _trading, frog, so I wanted to eliminate it. And so, I did. In 1758, I took possesion of Fort Frontenac, which is now in Ontario. And then a few months later, I took over Fort Duquesne, which was also in Ohio Valley. And then I destroyed and re-named it Fort Pitt."

America laughed. "Dude, you named it Fort _Pitt? _That's totally retarded!" The Brit turned and sent a death glare at America, which made him shut up, but not until after he sent out a few more insults.

"_Anyway, _at that point I could navigate in Canada without French attacks, so it was dangerous for the French." he lectured. "And next was the taking of Quebec. One of my generals, James Wolfe, brought 49 war boats, 80 transportation boats, 9000 soldiers, 2000 canons, and 40,000 ammunition to Canada. But then there was the question of where to attack, because Quebec was surrounded by mountains. Because of that, it was nearly impossible to attack by sea, since my soldiers would have to cross mountains and would be open for attacks the whole time." Britain said, completely absorbed by the history he was reciting. France put a hand on his shoulder to make him pause.

"Then Arthur's general, Wolfe, decided to attack the coast of Beauport, most likely because the sides of the hills were lower. But ha, my commander, Louis-Joseph de Montcalm put in place 10, 000 soldiers to defend Beauport. It's obvious who won." France bragged. Britain narrowed his eyes. "Don't get so confident, because afterward, Wolfe placed ships close to the coast of Beauport to trick you into thinking that he was observing your defenses and about to attack again. We had completely convinced Montcalm, and he sent his best troops to guard Beauport."

"Well, that was certainly a smart trick. Now the rest of Quebec has lower defenses, right? Leaving them open to attacks." Germany stated, and the other countries nodded to agree.

"Well, Wolfe decided to attack by the west, at L'anse au Foulon." Britain continued. "It's _L'anse-au-Foulon. _Even Amerique has a better French accent than you, Angleterre." France interrupted.

"Well, you're clearly wrong, because of what happens next! We decided to attack by the west, but it was risky because we had to climb a mountain. So on the night of September 12th, Wolfe sent a few troops who spoke French to talk to the soldiers at the base of the mountain. They pretended to bring a message from the French general, and the French soldiers believed us because of our _perfect _French accents. Not that I even like the language, anyway." he finished smugly.

"Why you-!"

"_Anyway, _when the French soldiers let our ships enter, and we quickly went ashore and killed the soldiers who were protecting the mountain. Then, Wolfe arrived with 5000 soldiers to the summit, close to the plains of Abraham. On Septenber 13th, 1759, we were completely ready to invade, but we couldn't because Quebec was protected by those ridiculous walls of stone."

"They were not ridiculous if they kept you out. Unfortunately, Montcalm wanted to send troopes, but the best ones were all at Beauport because of Angleterre's feint. So the French advanced in a single line, while the British-" France was cut off when America jumped up and pushed France off his seat.

"Dude, I know this part! It was totally sick! Let me tell it!" he said enthusiastically. With a smug smile, Britain nodded.

"So, the French were in a puny little line, while the British were in this formation called 'The Thin Red Line'. By the time the French arrived before the British, they were tired from all the walking so their shots were horrible. But the British were arranged in 3 lines. The first line fired, then got down on a knee to reload. Then the second line that was behind them fired, and did the same. By the time the third line had fired, the first line had finished reloading, so they could attack again! Dude, that's freakin' awesome!" America explained excitedly.

"Of course. In 1760, I won because the French surrendered. The terms of the capitulation was that France could continue to practice their catholic religion, and that the representants of the church were allowed to do their duties like before." Britain said with an overconfident smile.

"Indeed. _Le Traité de Paris, _the Treaty of Paris, was signed in 1763. It ended the Seven Years war, and I gave _La Nouvelle-France_-"

"Who?" the other countries asked.

"At the time, I was New-France, or _la Nouvelle France." _Canada explained. The others nodded in understanding.

"So I gave Canada to Arthur. But, we conserved the islands Saint-Pierre-et-Miquelon, and also the rights to fish on the coasts of _Terre-Neuve_, Newfoundland, and the gulf of _Saint-Laurent. _This treaty ended the rule of the French empire in North America." France ended, rather depressed.

"O-oh, so that's why I know French as well as English. _Merci pour le me raconte, papa. _It was very interesting." Canada thanked, happily.

"Ja, it was worth hearing. Although, how was Canada named as such, then?" Germany asked, curious.

"Hm, perhaps it's because when the Spanish explorers searched the north of Canada, they found no gold or silver, they wrote _acá nada, _"Nothing here" on the maps..." Spain pondered.

"Oh, I know~! Jaques Cartier named it Canada from the Iroquois word "kanata", meaning village. And in 1867, the name 'Canada' was official!" Italy said happily. The other countries stared at him

"Wait... why does ITALY know this?!" Japan wondered out loud, surprised.

"I'm more annoyed that Italy knows more about the naming of Canada than the naming of himself! _Why?" _Austria complained.

"Well, that concludes the history of Canada. I mean, it wasn't as elaborate as the other descriptions, but it will suffice." Britain finished, "and now is Denmark's turn..."

**A/N Thanks for reading! ^^ Sorry, I'm not going to continue this because I don't know any of Denmark's history (the countries are in alphabetical order), but if anyone does (or the history of any other country), we can do a collaboration, perhaps. Reviews are appreciated! **


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